I wanted to post the unedited version of my answer in case any of you were interested to read the in-depth of my answer because I had a lot of fun writing it and wanted to share! They are both things that resonate deeply for me on both intellectual and emotional levels and I have found them both to be helpful and reassuring in the moments I doubt myself for taking a path less traveled. I get a lot of different reactions and the questions that accompany them to working in the adult industry and also being a mom, as if the two could not exist simultaneously. Within a couple months of becoming pregnant, the baby Daddy and I flew to his hometown in Normandie, France to get married, then flew back to my hometown in North County San Diego after having lived nomadically for the years previous. I was so excited to experience this adventure in the same town with my longest friend. Parenthood does funny things to people.
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I don't know how to manage the resentment. But what does it really mean to be a patriarch, to lead your tribe. God told me to marry my husband. Just know that she has been indoctrinated to believe that she wont reach the highest level of heaven if she isn't married in a Mormon temple to another Mormon. Dozens of missionaries have told me that the gender ratios in other countries are far, far worse. Give yourself some credit for being attracted to the good side of the Force. Whereas white and black may both sleep in on Sunday and tie their left shoes first, Mos have a set of behavioral norms that are in serious conflict with Nomo lifestyles.
I know in terms of so many things as well as financial stability choosing another path is very uncertain, we would also have the student loans we would have to pay back. I think marriage means sacrifice on both sides. Well, sometimes they cant.