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I am the same good faithful woman I always was, just on a different path than I ever expected, one full of insights and blessings I never knew could exist. The closet is deep though I think that's seriously generalizing. You know what the official line of the church is, and what bishops and stake presidents are likely to say. All this said, God is love and fully understands and appreciates your problem. Having said that I'm not looking to get married any time soon, so no. I grew up believing that when, where, and by what authority I was married were equally important to whom I married. I'm the wife of an intern and we try to make a night each week to go do something, just the two of us. I've been married over 4 years to a 1st year GI fellow.
They require a healthy dose of flexibility, nontraditional expectations, and teamwork You aren't always gonna have a Christmas etc I can understand it would be hard to understand the cues you are getting if you have no basis for that lifestyle, but really think it over. If you don't mind some slightly off-topic advice, I can assure you that you will meet plenty of other beautiful, interesting women going forward. Somehow I never believed any of that; I wanted a career and a small family and never believed religion was a way to identify good character.